View Full Version : Results (Spoilers): Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest

07-04-2007, 07:00 PM
Joey Chesnut (USA) won with 66 dogs.

Kobiyashi (JAP) was in second with 63 dogs.

07-04-2007, 07:01 PM

BTW, wrong forum.

07-04-2007, 07:03 PM
Yeah, mods, please move. I just figured people wanted to know.

Punk Ass
07-04-2007, 07:35 PM
Yeah, mods, please move. I just figured people wanted to know.

It's just this is not a sport.

edit: I just realized it was moved fromthe general forum. You really think people care about who can eat the most hot dogs? lol

07-04-2007, 08:03 PM
NO WAI!!! man i didnt expect joey chestnut to improve so fast

07-04-2007, 08:23 PM
Hey Don Frye, which Bruce Lee movie is your clip from? I don't recall seeing it. Thanx.

07-04-2007, 08:54 PM
The Greatest event in sports with the most condition athletes in the world competing.:grinsmile26:

07-04-2007, 08:59 PM
The announcer actually said, "If Chestnut wins, this will be the greatest moment in American sports history." I wanted to puke. If thats a sport then I think competitive masterbation should be considered one too. At least when you beat your cock it involves hand speed and endurance. Hot dog eating is just gross.

Punk Ass
07-04-2007, 10:35 PM
I think competitive masterbation should be considered one too.

I would win!!! haha j/k

07-04-2007, 11:50 PM
I can't believe the Tsunami's been dethroned.

07-05-2007, 11:53 PM
That is amazing, and believe it or not they do have competitve masterbation, I read a story on Yahoo not too long ago in the odd news.

Some guy masterbated like 30 times in 24 hours or some shit.

lol there is got to be some permanient damage, i guess it wasnt fun to hang out with the winner while he was training. i wonder if they raised his hand after he won

07-06-2007, 10:20 AM
Masturbation Tournament Rocked By Doping Scandal

Twentynine Palms, Calif. – NCAA officials have disclosed that members of varsity masturbation squads from twenty two colleges and universities have tested positive for the presence of prohibited agents. The tests, administered at the start of last week’s 2006 Manhander Cup, found traces of prescription medications for combating erectile dysfunction and various numbing creams.

Competitive masturbation, a sport that is growing in popularity, pits athletes against one another in three classes: sprint, marathon and volume. All of the cases under investigation involved marathon masturbators.

“These young men condition themselves to maintain, and stimulate, an erection for extremely long periods of time,” explained Nick LaChance, head coach of the University of Massachusetts Not Minutemen. “You can imagine how the combination of these creams and Viagra, for example, would give athletes an unfair advantage.”

When confronted with results indicating some of his own students had tested positive, Coach LaChance acknowledged that during training some team members may use prohibited substances or devices, but that the University frowns on the practice. “We care about the health of every member of this team,” explained LaChance, “and monkeying around with these drugs isn’t in our play book.”

As the stakes get higher however, many experts believe what had once been an idle passtime will soon become just another cash cow – for everyone except the athletes.

One NCAA official, speaking on condition on anonymity, lamented the situation. “Five, ten years ago, these kids would be practicing diligently and competing in relative obscurity,” he explained, “masturbating for the love of the sport. Now, we’re seeing scouts showing up at high school meets, enticing these Jacks [as competitive masturbators are called] with the promise of scholarships and the dream of turning pro. It’s really sad,” he lamented, “so few will ever make it, but they keep on coming.”

Brian [not his real name], a junior at a large mid-western university, claims he continues to masturbate simply because he enjoys it. “I like the feeling I get when I’m up there on stage working it against the other Jacks,” he explains, “I feel good seeing my father beaming when I break that one hour mark and I love the attention I get from the other kids at school.”

Asked if he had ever used any of the substances under investigation, Brian declined to answer, offering instead to provide a demonstration of his masturbatory prowess. “Look,” he grunted, “I can do it like this for hours. Do you really think I need the drugs?”

The steadiness of his hand – and the determined look on his face – spoke volumes. For this young man pursuing his dream, masturbation was still a labor of love.

credit- Andy Lam http://andylam.org/masturbation-tournament-rocked-by-doping-scandal/

07-07-2007, 12:04 AM
I know competitve eatting isn't a sport but man every year in philly they hold the wing bowl and thats a fun party :) Nothing like getting up at 1:00 am in the dead of winter to drink in a parking lot. Its a blast. Really it is :confusedsmilie: