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View Full Version : Ernie Reyes vs. chuck Norris



Kemo
07-27-2006, 04:02 PM
That's all I have to say about that.

killerinstinct
07-27-2006, 05:30 PM
Nice little Forrest Gump quote there.

AJL416AZ
07-28-2006, 01:09 AM
Chuck Norris - TKO - Fist Through Chest - 1st Round 0:01

killerinstinct
07-28-2006, 01:11 AM
Chuck Norris - TKO - Fist Through Chest - 1st Round 0:01
Let's be honest here Chuck Norris would win quicker than that and it wouldn't be by TKO it would be Chuck Norris by murder do to a round house kick in 0.0000001 seconds of round one.Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

AJL416AZ
07-28-2006, 04:36 PM
i would like to issue an apology to chuck norris for underestimating him.

and would like to plead for my life

Kemo
07-28-2006, 08:29 PM
I think Chuck Norris would probably at least take the time to make Ernie Reyes defecate himself, then the fist through chest. So like five seconds, all Chuck Norris.

supermark21
07-28-2006, 09:52 PM
dont they sell chuck norris urine as red bull nowadays

killerinstinct
07-28-2006, 10:39 PM
What's everyone's favorite Chuck Norris facts?
here's my top 5
1.If Jesus walks on water Chuck Norris walks on Jesus
2.The boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris before he goes to sleep.
3.When Chuck Norris jumps in water he doesn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised
4.There is no theory of evolution just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live
5.Chuck Norris counted to infinty twice.

This is somewhat related.This is pretty funny.http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/showdown

supermark21
07-28-2006, 11:03 PM
1. chuck norris beat lance armstrong in a 'who has more testicles contest' by five
2. chuck norris is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like chuck norris
3. when chuck norris donates blood he asks for a shotgun and a bucket

tapper
07-28-2006, 11:07 PM
gimme more:grinsmile1:

matto
07-29-2006, 12:46 AM
Let's be honest here Chuck Norris would win quicker than that and it wouldn't be by TKO it would be Chuck Norris by murder do to a round house kick in 0.0000001 seconds of round one.Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

hahah!! that joke was so funny, too bad it fucking sucks more then a hooker.
them chuck norris jokes were kinda funny at first but im tired of them bs jokes, stfu killer. chuck norris would get his ass handed to him by any lightweight.

BigJoe111
07-29-2006, 01:16 AM
hahah!! that joke was so funny, too bad it fucking sucks more then a hooker.
them chuck norris jokes were kinda funny at first but im tired of them bs jokes, stfu killer. chuck norris would get his ass handed to him by any lightweight.
Well yeah, he's like 70, but I come on this one was obviously not serious.

killerinstinct
07-29-2006, 02:52 AM
Matto's always trying to start shit.

Kemo
07-29-2006, 06:44 PM
Crop circles are just Chuck Norris' way of saying that sometimes wheat needs to lay the fuck down.


On a side note, I think matto would probably get his ass handed to him by Chuck Norris.

AJL416AZ
07-29-2006, 07:20 PM
hey matto
shut the fuck up

just because you have some bullshit beef with Killer over nothing, doesnt mean you get to just interrupt a nice little banter session of jokes.

the lance armstrong one is by far my favorite little joke, but here are a few of my favorites

when Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesnt push himself up, he pushes the earth down
there are no handicapped people. just people who have met Chuck Norris
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t use its full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division”.
If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
there's no such thing as steroids. only people Chuck Norris has spit on.

matto
07-30-2006, 02:59 AM
i never said that i could beat chuck norris, he would kick all of our asses.

matto
07-30-2006, 03:15 AM
didnt want to piss anyone off, if i didnt like this topic i should have just ignored it.

:lovesmilie8: :lovesmilie8: :lovesmilie8: :lovesmilie11:

lol those smiles r messed up.

Legend
07-30-2006, 03:26 AM
I have nothing to say execpt that i hate chuck norris.

killerinstinct
07-30-2006, 03:28 AM
I have nothing to say execpt that i hate chuck norris.
:confusedsmilie: What?Who doesn't like Chuck Norris?Why do you hate him?

matto
07-30-2006, 03:35 AM
I have nothing to say execpt that i hate chuck norris.

wow somebody here actually agrees with me. when i was a kid i used to watch walker texas ranger and thought he was cool. but he ko'ed 70 year old bob barker. as funny as that seems, i wonder if he did it on purpose?

killerinstinct
07-30-2006, 03:40 AM
wow somebody here actually agrees with me. when i was a kid i used to watch walker texas ranger and thought he was cool. but he ko'ed 70 year old bob barker. as funny as that seems, i wonder if he did it on purpose?
When did he KO Barker?I know that Chuck trained Bob Barker(He also trained Steve McQueen,Priscilla Presley and Donnie & Marie Osmond.Bob Barker is the man.One of the funniest movie scenes ever was Barker walking away shadow boxing after just kicking Happy Gilmore's ass.

"The price is wrong is bitch!"

matto
07-30-2006, 03:44 AM
it was only talked about for a week stright on the radio, he ko'ed barker with a roundhouse kick. it actually seems funny, that isnt y i dont like norris, in fact now i hate him less, even though i like barker.

Legend
07-30-2006, 03:48 AM
:confusedsmilie: What?Who doesn't like Chuck Norris?Why do you hate him?


Who doesn't like Chuck Norris? I dont like Chuck Norris. Walker Texas Ranger is one of the worst shows EVER! I mean Conan O'Brien plays clips of WTR bc its so awful its funny. I cant stand his acting (its horrible) and he has this arrogance about he that makes him very unlikeable. I just cant stand the guy.

matto
07-30-2006, 03:57 AM
hell ya norris sucks

his show was so lame with unrealistict bs. he always made it out on time when there was a bomb in the building, in one episode he walkes into a place where there r like 30 guys with ak's behind cars and he walkes in and they r all shooting at him and he doesnt get hit and he was in the wide open with a pistol. come on. killer who do u like better norris, lee murry, or tim sylvia. i hate them all but u seem to liek them

Kemo
07-30-2006, 08:44 AM
Chuck is a really good singer, though. Way better than David Hasselhoff.

killerinstinct
07-30-2006, 12:09 PM
hell ya norris sucks

his show was so lame with unrealistict bs. he always made it out on time when there was a bomb in the building, in one episode he walkes into a place where there r like 30 guys with ak's behind cars and he walkes in and they r all shooting at him and he doesnt get hit and he was in the wide open with a pistol. come on. killer who do u like better norris, lee murry, or tim sylvia. i hate them all but u seem to liek them
I'm not a big Tim Sylvia fan I just don't dislike him like a lot of people on these forums and I think he deserves more respect than he gets.Chuck Norris,Lee Murray,and Sylvia in that order.

supermark21
07-30-2006, 03:39 PM
hell ya norris sucks

his show was so lame with unrealistict bs. he always made it out on time when there was a bomb in the building, in one episode he walkes into a place where there r like 30 guys with ak's behind cars and he walkes in and they r all shooting at him and he doesnt get hit and he was in the wide open with a pistol. come on. killer who do u like better norris, lee murry, or tim sylvia. i hate them all but u seem to liek them
he actually does get shot in all of those scenes. chuck norris is just invulnerable and on his website he said hes coming after you

AJL416AZ
07-30-2006, 07:09 PM
i dont understand how everyone could hate on Chuck for doing Walker: Texas Ranger. it was a terrible show. but because he takes the money and follows a shitty script for a shitty show doesnt mean he thinks he's a badass. he's just an actor doing a job.

killerinstinct
07-30-2006, 08:32 PM
I kind of liked Walker Texas Ranger when I was younger and the Walker Texas Ranger lever on Conan O' Brien is pure comic genius.

matto
07-30-2006, 09:29 PM
when i was a kid i actually liked the show, but now i watch it some times because it is so lame that it is very funny.

matto
07-30-2006, 09:29 PM
when i was a kid i actually liked the show, but now i watch it some times because it is so lame that it is very funny.
the theme song to walker texas ranger sucks, he should have never sang that song.

Kemo
07-30-2006, 09:56 PM
The guy who played Scott Farkas was on an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger.

paintstik
08-05-2006, 08:10 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't teabag...He potato sacks.

LFD
08-05-2006, 08:44 PM
Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands recently. They are now just the Islands.
When Chuck Norris blows out the candles on his birthday cake, beware of tornados.

supermark21
08-06-2006, 12:36 AM
Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands recently. They are now just the Islands.
When Chuck Norris blows out the candles on his birthday cake, beware of tornados.
are those new? i dont think ive ever heard them before

Afro
08-06-2006, 03:07 AM
Ernie Reyes would kill Chuck