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LefthookStcrook
06-22-2011, 10:16 PM
So im lurking over at Sherdog and found this thread pretty funny. Not all are golden, but some made me crack a smile for sure.

I'm Changing the Perception of Jon Fitch! - Sherdog Mixed Martial Arts Forums (http://www.sherdog.net/forums/f2/im-changing-perception-jon-fitch-1711423/)

Again, im not taking any credit for creating any of the jokes, and I hope this doesnt get me a "tap with the ban stick" lol. I respect the hell out of Fitch and by no means is this my attempt to bash him. TBH most of them are "Chuck Norris" type jokes.

Heres a "few" good ones.

Jon Fitch's Licence Plate is UD30-27

Jon Fitch grinds so hard his nickname is Espresso.

Jon Fitch once rode a wave from Japan to Hawaii.

Jon Fitch has such good top control, he jumped from a plane and held a cloud down for 15 minutes

Jon Fitch does not poop. His digestive tract holds food down until it slides out of his anus

Jon fitch has sex 30 times a day because he can never finish.-LOL

john fitch bought his wife a blanket, but she threw it out because he can do its job much better.

john fitch has the weakest back in the world because he never postures up.

Jon Fitch could hold down ipecac syrup-LOL

john fitch: the leading cause of lung cancer

Gravity is just a myth. Jon Fitch is holding everything down. He's like the opposite of Atlas, he's got the world under his shoulder

Fitch cancels his downloads at 99%

jon fitch was once seriously burned in a fire, he stopped and dropped but he didn't know what to do next

jon fitch's birthday is 10-9

When Jon Fitch plays Mortal Kombat and Shao Kahn screams "finish him!", Jon Fitch waits for the character to fall down

jon fitch's first name is jonas but he can never finish writing it down

When Nyquil doesn't work, Chuck Liddell calls Jon Fitch

Jon Fitch Lays'n'prays more than Muslims-hahaha


Again, this is not my attempt to bash Jon Fitch, I never thought up any of these jokes. It goes on for about 20 pages, and those are just a few from the first couple pages that made me grin.

Just wanted to pass around some homour, Feel free to add some good ones.

Pasha K
06-23-2011, 08:44 PM
Some of them are pretty good LOL

2 or 3 more wins by desicon by GSP and he will be the next target of these kind of jokes.

m1ckeykn0x
06-23-2011, 09:14 PM
LOL! Almost all of those you posted made me bust out laughing. That is great. I am not laughing at them in a way to bash Fitch either but some of those are really fucking funny.

LefthookStcrook
06-23-2011, 09:43 PM
LOL! Almost all of those you posted made me bust out laughing. That is great. I am not laughing at them in a way to bash Fitch either but some of those are really fucking funny.

Lol this is what im saying.

"Jon Fitch could hold down ipecac syrup" got a good roar today at work lol.

end it with a left
06-23-2011, 10:00 PM
It's like copycating is supposed to be the highest form of flattery well he should just feel honoured that he is a big enough star for someone to take the time to write a bunch of jokes about him. Who knows if the jokes keep coming Jon could get a cameo in a couple comedies like Chuck Norris did in Dodgeball

m1ckeykn0x
06-23-2011, 10:23 PM
There's actually quite a few more funny ones in the thread. These are a couple more I found that made me laugh my ass off.


- When blankets get cold, they cover up with Jon Fitch.

- Fitch stopped shopping at Bed, Bath n Beyond after someone tried to shoplift him.

I wish there was a roast of MMA fighters all in good fun with the roasters being other MMA fighters. That would be some great entertainment.

How about these I came up with...

- Jon Fitch was winning a triathlon against Nick Diaz but when he approached the finish line, he just laid down.

- Jon Fitch's blanket is made of golden dragon skin and phoenix feathers.

- Jon Fitch doesn't put on a snuggie. He lays it on the ground and slides into it.

- Jon Fitch doesn't walk on water... he lays on it.

- If Jon Fitch fought his clone, even Father Time would get old.

- Jon Fitch stopped getting Christmas presents when he was a kid because he would always drag Santa Claus back down the chimney.

- When Jon Fitch was a kid, he would drag the Boogeyman out of the closet or out from under the bed and hold him down.

These are in no way a means to insult or disrespect Jon Fitch. I am not a Fitch hater. I apoligize if I am offending anyone.

The8thPlague
06-23-2011, 10:25 PM
Jon Fitch has such good top control, he jumped from a plane and held a cloud down for 15 minutes

Jon Fitch could hold down ipecac syrup

Gravity is just a myth. Jon Fitch is holding everything down. He's like the opposite of Atlas, he's got the world under his shoulder

When Jon Fitch plays Mortal Kombat and Shao Kahn screams "finish him!", Jon Fitch waits for the character to fall down

When Nyquil doesn't work, Chuck Liddell calls Jon Fitch

Jon Fitch Lays'n'prays more than Muslims


hahahaha!!!
Those were great!
Fighter Bashing or not... most of those were so true.

LefthookStcrook
06-24-2011, 06:18 AM
There's actually quite a few more funny ones in the thread. These are a couple more I found that made me laugh my ass off.



I wish there was a roast of MMA fighters all in good fun with the roasters being other MMA fighters. That would be some great entertainment.

How about these I came up with...

- Jon Fitch was winning a triathlon against Nick Diaz but when he approached the finish line, he just laid down.

- Jon Fitch's blanket is made of golden dragon skin and phoenix feathers.

- Jon Fitch doesn't put on a snuggie. He lays it on the ground and slides into it.

- Jon Fitch doesn't walk on water... he lays on it.

- If Jon Fitch fought his clone, even Father Time would get old.

- Jon Fitch stopped getting Christmas presents when he was a kid because he would always drag Santa Claus back down the chimney.

- When Jon Fitch was a kid, he would drag the Boogeyman out of the closet or out from under the bed and hold him down.

These are in no way a means to insult or disrespect Jon Fitch. I am not a Fitch hater. I apoligize if I am offending anyone.

Haha your jokes are 1000X better then what I could come up with, more of a joke teller then joke maker myself lol.

Dock Instructions-"Make sure to tie off boat securely using Jon Fitch"
Never ride an airplane with Jon Fitch in it, it will go down.
God gets mad at Jon Fitch for Lay n Praying, he should be kneeling.

Lol see, LAME lol:sadsong:

The thread is pretty good lol, I only went to like the first 6-7 pages or something, im sure theres more gold in there.

And I fucking love your roast idea! lol First up, Chuck Liddell lol. Pam Andersons and Bob Saget's roasts are fucking awsome lol, Id love to see Chuck or Tito just getting ripped by other fighters/trainers and what not!


hahahaha!!!
Those were great!
Fighter Bashing or not... most of those were so true.

Lol every one you quoted, I laughed my ass off when I read it lol.

I work with like 4-5 other guys that are basically just casual fans, and they didnt fully get this joke lol.

When Nyquil doesn't work, Chuck Liddell calls Jon Fitch

They laughed, only because it had Jon Fitch and Nyquil in the same sentence lol.

They had no idea about the whole Chuck vs Nyquil battle on TV lol. So of course, to the internet I go, I had to show them all the Good Morning whatever video of Chuck for them to fully get it lol.

TheKidInside
06-24-2011, 10:03 AM
for some reason the UD30-27 license plate joke made me pee my pants

dbader08
06-24-2011, 03:07 PM
Chuck Norris once tried to sidekick Jon Fitch, we all know how that turned out...

Medical experts are considering changing the term "down syndrome" to something else due to the mass confusion of the term with Jon Fitch's fighting style.