The Wild World Of Fighting: Terrell Owens, Artem Lobov, & More (11/27/2022)

Welcome back to The Wild World Of Fighting, a series with a better sense of humor than Dillon Danis’s boxing coach, and that’s saying something.

[DISCLAIMER: ANY VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PIECE ARE THOSE OF THE AUTHOR AND DO NOT REFLECT THE OPINIONS AND BELIEFS OF THE WEBSITE AND ITS AFFILIATES. WELCOME TO THE WILD WORLD OF FIGHTING]

The Wild World Of Fighting

Derrick Lewis shit all over the UFC’s plans this weekend and potentially his hotel room. Two hours before the fight was due to take place, long after the broadcast began, the viewing public was informed that as long suspected, Lewis’s stomach was a problem.

Ion Cutelaba and Kennedy Nzechukwu stepped up to headline the card, with Nzechukwu, the bane of MMA writers across the globe, taking the once-feared light-heavyweight out. Vanessa Demopoulos may be the world’s second most dangerous stripper, behind Oscar De La Hoya, as she picked up another successful victory.

PFL Project Pacheco’d 

PFL prized asset Kayla Harrison fluffed her lines in her $1 million dollar title match against round-one TUF loser Larissa Pacheco. Pacheco also had a sole UFC bout against Jessica Andrade, which she lost via guillotine choke. Twitter has now smelt the blood in the water and has dug up some old statements of Ali Abdelaziz that could come back to haunt him.

It can’t be said that the Dominance MMA manager doesn’t care for his fighters, even if it means getting into it with an NYSAC official.

Paddy And The Pup Who Shit

Paddy Pimblett has now appeared via the only camera we had yet to see him on, the security camera. Unlike most scousers, who usually appear in grainy black-and-white footage on UK’s most wanted type shows for home invasion, Pimblett was more of n advocate for his four-legged friend this time. 

Paddy “The Baddy” went on to explain that his pooch had taken an almighty shit on her driveway. The problem and reason for the call are that it was closer to spray paint in consistency than your average stool, and he wanted to borrow water to wash away his sins.

Stephens Goes Dahmer On Us

Jeremy Stephens added himself to a few watchlists over the weekend by claiming he had serial killer-like urges. It would be unwise for the brawler to try any actual killing, as only one of every eight attempts would actually result in him delivering.

McGregor Definitely Not On Steroids As He Flips Out At Smith

Conor McGregor had a go at Anthony Smith over some voice notes at The Black Face Inn, claiming that the fighter’s “suspected” broken leg was nothing. 

McGregor was aggravated by Smith’s claims that McGregor is most probably on steroids. It is a baseless claim, other than McGregor’s humungous growth, refusal of USADA testing, and wolverine-like recovery rate. If you want to prove him wrong, he is living somewhere in the Bermuda triangle on a yacht with Ido Portal and a scouse cocaine dealer named Dave The Rave. 

Costa’s Corner

As is becoming customary, Paulo Costa has his exclusive space within the article. Let’s have a look at what he has been up to.

Seemingly convinced Elon Musk is committed to fulfilling his desires, Costa has put forward a list of things he would like the tech mogul to fix, for his pleasure.

The Brazillian drunkard also offered his opinions on football (soccer for you gun-toting lunatics across the Atlantic). He seemed to long for the days when footballers were real men, and just fucked trans people and did drugs.

This was all before taking aim at Colby Covington about his taste for a finger in the ass, Adesanya for his strange-looking titty, and the UFC for giving him a less than 2.5% raise in 5 years.

TO? More Like TKO

Terrel Owens might need to add a “K” middle initial to his trademark “TO” nickname after a viral clip of him knocking out a poor fellow went viral. Word has it that the chap was harassing customers in a CVS in Los Angeles. Personally, I think Owens was living out his fantasies of knocking out Donovan McNabb outside of a Philadelphia Eagles locker room.

You can check out the clip below, complete with color commentary.

Eat your heart out Chad Ochocinco — TO is now 1-0 as an amateur boxer. Might we see Owens enter the Jake Paul sweepstakes next? Or perhaps avenge fallen NFL comrade Le’Veon Bell by facing Uriah Hall on the undercard?

Lobov A Double Agent As He Sues McGregor

Artem Lobov has bitten the hand that fed him. Lobov intends to sue former life partner Conor McGregor over claims it was the Russian who came up with the idea for the whiskey. McGregor must feel betrayed here after coaching and breaking rules on a season of The Ultimate Fighter in order to ensure Lobov a career.

The 13-15-1 fighter seemed to be McGregor’s most loyal of allies, but it appears Dillon Danis has outdone his fellow meme in at least keeping McGregor’s balls firmly on his chin.

The Internet Is Wild

Ariel Helwani finally caught up with Darren Till at a football match this weekend…

The UFC’s resident genius Tony Ferguson dropped by Harvard to pick up his degree, presumably at gunpoint.

I mean if i were to tell you that this was the cast of an early 2000’s reality dating show, would you argue? 

An unwanted karate preacher got the crap beaten out of him by a guy who looks like he pays his taxes but also has been trying very hard not to strangle his wife for 13 years.

That’s all for this week’s edition, tune in next week for another round-up of the bizarre side of MMA in The Wild World Of Fighting. Send any suggestions to @WhatsTheOddsMMA on Twitter.

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